Introduction
Please take a moment to introduce yourself... share what you feel comfortable sharing in this forum. (i.e. your name, ages of your children, etc. Please comment on one or more questions below, or on another person's comment.
Introduction (of our book)
1. What about UnSelfie peaked your interest? What do you hope to gain from these discussions?
2. How would you answer: “What do children really need to be happy and successful in today’s world?” (pg xiii). Do you believe empathy is integral to children’s future success happiness and well-being? Despite science, why do many think empathy to be a soft skill?
3. Teens today are 40 percent less empathetic than thirty years ago. Have you seen a change in your child or his friends’ character and behavior that might indicate the Selfie Syndrome? (pg xiv).
4. UnSelfie describes several factors that contribute to the Empathy Deficit. Which cultural factors/parenting styles do you think affect kids’ empathy capacities? Which factors can parents really control?
5. Step into the shoes of today’s kids: What invisible and visible messages would you see about our our culture? Are they ones that would nurture an empathy and help to produce a generation of “Unselfies” or are more likely to exacerbate the Selfie Syndrome?
6. Which of the nine essential habits do you feel are most crucial for today’s 21st century kids? Which habits are you instilling in your child? Which might you be overlooking? (pg xix)
7. How could parents teach empathy habits in such a way that their children master them and no longer need our reminders? How might you network with other parents to cultivate children’s empathy?
8. What skills will our children need to succeed in the global economy when jobs of tomorrow don’t exist today? What should parents be doing to prepare kids for a world of rapid change?
9. How would you define an “Unselfie world?” What would an empathetic family, school, community, nation look and sound like? How do we create empathy in those teachable parent-child moments?
10. What behaviors would adults display in an empathetic culture? What often is your child seeing adults model courage, empathy and compassion? How often does your child see you model empathy?
11. What is your hope in cultivating empathy in your children?
Chapter 1. Empathetic Children Can Recognize Feelings
understand the feelings and needs of others
Corresponds to pages 3 to 24 in Unselfie
Emotional literacy is what motivates a child to care, and it all starts by tuning in to feelings. Identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions are the skills kids need to activate empathy. It turns out that kids schooled in feelings are smarter, nicer, happier and are resilient than children who are less literate in their Emotional ABCs (page 7), and it is a teachable habit.
12. Common Sense Media finds that the average child is plugged into digital devices about nine hours a day. What impact does a digital devices have on kids’ empathy? How do you know if your family is “too plugged in?”
13. What ways can parents reclaim conversation with children in a digital-driven world? Pages 18-20 lists ways to set digital limits. How are you setting limits? How do we help children develop healthy relationships with peers, especially when face-to-face contact is breaking down and the internet is meaner?
14. One study found that 62 percent of kids said their parents were too plugged in (page 10). How would your kids describe your digital habits? How can parents set a better example for their kids?
15. Why was Mary Gordon’s Roots of Empathy approach (page 3) successful in increasing children’s empathy? What are real, meaningful ways to help your child experience empathy?
16. Mothers are more likely to discuss emotions with daughters than sons. What impact does it have on boys? Do you notice the tendency in your friends or yourself? What will you do to reduce the pink/blue emotion divide?
17. Tuning in to feelings is an essential part of good parenting and lays the groundwork for developing close relationships with our kids. How could developing empathy enhance your relationship with your child? How can parents cultivate their empathy so they model empathy to their children?
18. Emotional literacy is cited as a key to motivating kids to care. What ways can you can help your digital native understand feelings and tune into others (pg 20-24)?
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