Unselfie Chapters 4 & 5 Discussion

 Chapter 4. Empathetic Kids Have a Moral Imagination 

4th EMPATHY HABIT: Instilling a moral imagination so kids can use literature, films and                                            emotionally-charged images as a source of inspiration to feel with  
                                    others 
                                    Corresponds to pages 95 to 118 in Unselfie

1.  “Books can be portals to understanding other worlds and other views to helping our children be more open to differences and cultivate new perspectives.” Which books were your childhood favorites? Which resonate with your child? Were you surprised (pg 78-80) on the power of literary fiction to activate empathy? How can you find books that pull your child’s heart strings?

2.  Posing the right questions can help kids vicariously step into someone else’s place. What strategies (pg 80) might help your child see the world from other perspectives?

3.  Around eight is when kids generally stop reading for enjoyment, and also when we typically stop reading aloud to them. How can you use the ideas (page 86-87) to instill in your child a greater love of reading?

4.  Have you considered starting a “Parent-Child Book Club?” If so, how would you start?

5.  Which age-by-age strategy (or others) intrigued your interest (pg 88-91)?

Chapter 5. Empathetic Children Can Keep Their Cool

5th EMPATHY HABIT: Mastering self-regulation to help children learn to manage strong 
                                    emotions and reduce personal distress so they can help others                                              Corresponds to pages 95 to 118 in Unselfie

6.  Research says that self-control is a better predictor of adult wealth, health and happiness than grades or IQ? Do you agree? If so, why? Are today’s children being raised to have self-control?

7.  Are you noticing a change in children’s (and adults) ability to regulate their self-control? If so, what do you attribute the increase? How well do your children manage their emotions?

8.  What are you doing to help your children learn habits of self-regulation?

9.  UnSelfie describes approaches that nurture children’s self-regulation (like stress-management, yoga, meditation, mindfulness). Did any interest you? Have you considered a Parent-Child Yoga group?

10.  Schools are embracing mindfulness practices (pg 106-108). Would you consider adopting the approach in your home? How might you start? Are there ways you might join other parents (such as in playgroups, scouting, play dates) to teach self-regulation practices to your children together?

11.  Which age-by-age strategy (pg 106-116) would you consider using with your children? What other self-regulation strategies have your tried? How would you know if they worked?